In the early part of the twentieth century, it was a common practice to stamp birth certificates  with the word “Illigitimate” when the parents of the child were not married at the time of birth. Those children born of these unions, placed for adoption, faced a lifetime of embarrassment and shame. Discrimination followed the adoptee when it came to pursuing a career and even marriage.

By the 1930’s, social workers,  wanting to protect, and also, make more adoptees available for adoption, encouraged legislators to follow Child Welfare League of America guidelines which recommended closing all records associated with the adoptee.  There was no intent to separate adoptive parents from birthparents, only to protect the vulnerable child.  Thus, an experiment without longitudinal studies being done, was begun. Between 1938 and 1948 most states sealed all adoption records and a new birth certificate was issued for the child. The stigma of being illegitimate was effectively removed and hidden. Another piece impacting this was the belief that genetics played only a minimal part in ones life and that a child could be “molded” with the proper  upbringing.  We now know this is not true.

By l985, with a number of adoption studies having been completed since the early l950’s, the CWLA passed a resolution recommending “open adoption as standard practice.” Many agencies had been doing various forms of open adoption in the decade preceeding this and social workers were beginning to change their belief systems in this area. Longitudinal studies consistently showed that open adoption was in the best interest of each and every child.

The American Adoption Congress also passed an open resolution in l985 based on its work with both adoptees and birthparents. With 367 registered search and reunion groups in North America clamoring for open records and information, the AAC, as the main umbrella for these groups also saw a need for change. They too realized the “closed experiment” had failed and not served the chidren it meant to care for and protect.                                                     

Since the CWLA passed its resoultion, only one adoption related organization has  bitterly opposed these recommended changes. The National Committee for Adoption (NCFA) adamently believes birthmothers do not want or need openness. They believe adoptees have a right to only the most basic and limited information about their past. Supported by a few dozen for profit  adoption agencies, this author believes NCFA’s motives are financially based. Closed adoptions promote their monetary interests. Open adoptions simply put, do not. With a large, seemingly unlimited, budget and a full time lobbyist in Washington, this organization can be seen whenever new laws promoting open records or open adoption are introduced.

Mythology and Adoption

Mythology  is very much a part of  open adoption changes. It is assumed adoptive parents will not be able to comfortably parent should a birthparent be involved in their life. The primary task for all adoptive parents is that of developing a sense of “entitlement” to parent the child whether in a domestic or foreign adoption. Open adoption, it has been found, is very helpful to adoptive parents in achieving this goal.

It is assumed children who may have visits from birthfamily will be confused by other “relatives” in their lives. Adult adoptees who have grown up in open adoptions find this  myth to be ridiculous. “I am much smarter than that,” one adoptee said when asked about the issue of confusion.  “I always knew who my parents were.” Open adoption is not and never has been co-parenting........A child’s parents are the ones who nurture and care for him/her on a daily/nightly basis.

NCFA believes birthmothers will be unable to “get on with their lives” and heal in an open format. Quite the opposite has been shown to be true--birthmothers from closed adoptions have been documented to struggle for decades, in many cases, with the placement loss, shame, and secrecy. Birthparents  involved in open adoption tend to heal and find comfort knowing their child is thriving and healthy in the placement they chose.

There are several degrees of open adoption, but this author strongly recommends children grow up with more than pictures and letters from birth family. Open adoption has the ability to take the adoptee out of day dreaming and mythology about birth family by providing solid answers and information to not only the adoptee, but its parents as well. 

Although, not all chidren are going to have backgrounds which are exemplary,  it is recommended children be given information and history which are age appropriate.  Adoptive parents are always faced with the task of showing empathy and sensitivity towards the child and its background. How comfortably the parents are able to do this is a measure of the amount of entitlement they possess. Parents who have completed infertility resolution work prior to adopting are more likely to be able to do this and  provide an atmosphere which is relaxed and emotionally safe for the adoptee. 

Parents who are still angry about earlier infertility losses are less likely to be comfortable with adoption questions and adoption issues which will arise in the course of every day family life. An adoptee will interpret this that something is wrong with “me.” Since emotional safety  is the basic building block of self esteem, it is crucial parents do this emotional work prior to bringing an adopted child into the home.

Education

It is important for  adoption parents to have a strong educational base in order to be involved in the open process. Support groups, seminars, reading, audio, and video are all ways for an adoptive couple to better understand and move through the mythology and fears so prevalent when beginning the process. Therapy is also a helpful tool for those struggling with grief and loss issues in not being able to conceive. Understanding open adoption is not “co-parenting” and that boundaries need to be in place are part of the beginning steps in this complex and  unique journey.

 

The internet has provided an explosion of information for both adoptees and birthparents interested in searching and finding one another. Adoptive parents are naive to think, even when adopting abroad, their adoptee won’t be able to search and find birthfamily.  The American Adoption Congress and search groups have documented unusually high rates of success for adoptees searching for birth family abroad. Sealed records in this country have not impeded the ability of those separated by adoption to find  one another.

Society has changed in the last few decades and so has the movement in adoption. We no longer accept the Victorian notion that a birthmother is both sinful and promiscuous if pregnant out of wedlock.  

We know it is in the best interests of every child to provide genetic continuity in an atmosphere which is non shaming and without secrecy and lies. As child advocates asking adoptive parents to parent from the needs of the child, not their own, it is crucial Child Welfare standards be followed and adhered to.